I'm really going to need you to get out of my head! I've written a few posts about this and am trying to write another one - when I figure out just what it is I want to say. Having a hard time figuring that out because I'm not sure where I stand.
Although I am enjoying my casual relationship, in the back of my mind I know I ultimately need more for various reasons, some of which you stated. Right now though, I just can't give up that intimacy. It still makes me feel good...for now.
I guess I'm spending the meantine getting myself right and working on me - keeping my life full with the things I enjoy, and just keeping the faith that like everything else in my life, that piece will fall into place. I know that if I was in a relationship right now, I wouldn't find the time to accomplish half the things I'm doing. That's what's keeping me going.
Urban Thought
· 1 year ago
I'm assuming W2W means Woman 2 Woman. However, I find myself wanting to comment regardless to the type of anatomy I've been blessed with. Thank you mom/sperm donor/Supreme Being.
At any rate, I feel where you are coming from (from a human perspective). I don't believe there is anything to fix though. There isn't anything wrong with you.
You are clear as to what you want. You realize you don't want to settle for less than that. You've come further than most people who just deal and feel shorted every time they complete or finish satisfying an urge.
You'll find what you are looking for in time. It won't take much for the spark to come along and for you to realize its time to step from behind that wall. That spark may have a name of a man on it and he may grab you himself and pull you forward.
Either way... In time it will work itself out. I mean perhaps its just me but I believe what will be will be. And if its meant to happen then it shall. When your time has come the opportunity will present itself. At that point it will be up to you handle it.
But I'm just a man with two brains who only uses half of one.
MarvalusOne
· 1 year ago
V - It was hard for me to give up the casual...but in the end, I just kept thinking that I really didn't want him...maybe that was the problem...
MarvalusOne
· 1 year ago
Urban - Thanks for the view from the other side...I believe also that I am where I am for a reason...the frustration is hard to manage sometimes...
tee hee hee on the two brains/half of one thing...I think you use more than half of one...
Urban Thought
· 1 year ago
I must only be using half... I didn't even notice the "Filed Under: Woman to Woman" until just this moment.
MarvalusOne
· 1 year ago
tee hee hee...it doesn't matter...I appreciate your thoughts! And it's just a category, doesn't mean to discriminate!
Danielle
· 1 year ago
I hear you Marva! I've been single for so long, sometimes I wonder if I've gotten to comfortable and selfish. I wonder if I can really make room for another. I'm older now and can't/won't settle for anything less than me and what I'm willing to give.
It's hard to live by principles and beliefs. It's easier to follow the pack. However, don't lock up your heart. Remain open to life and experiences. You are a wonderful person and you won't regret it.
MarvalusOne
· 1 year ago
D - I know I'm selfish...always have been...
And you are right; living upright is hard, but necessary (at least for me)...I've been shown the way and the other way is no longer an option...
Orville
· 1 year ago
Girl, I wish I even had a casual relationship! I wish I had a man! I don't even have that! But, I definitely see what you're saying though, this is a beautifully written entry. I think we all want something "meaningful" but the heart "wants" what the "heart" wants. We can't "force" someone to love us. If somebody likes you will "know" he will call you all the time, he will give you gifts, he will ask you how you are doing, he will call you to ask how your day was or talk about his day. He will "let" you know if it was meant to be.
MarvalusOne
· 1 year ago
O - In due time...I can remember what it feels like and I guess I'm in reminisce mode...
Or just horny... :mrgreen:
Believer 1964
· 1 year ago
Sounds like you're in the midst of transition. My hope is that you give up enough room in self for a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Keep busy and pray girl!
MarvalusOne
· 1 year ago
That's the one thing that I can count on B...prayer...
Beckie
· 1 year ago
Hi OBW, First-time poster, long-time lurker. This entry so completely hits home with me! You've eloquently stated what has been jumbled thoughts, rants and tantrums in my head. Thanks for posting this...it renews my own sense of purpose as I spend this time in my life focusing on me. I heart ur blog! :smile:
MarvalusOne
· 1 year ago
Hey Beckie! Thanks for letting me know that you are here! :grin:
I'm glad that you were able to take something away from this...
All Comments
Although I am enjoying my casual relationship, in the back of my mind I know I ultimately need more for various reasons, some of which you stated. Right now though, I just can't give up that intimacy. It still makes me feel good...for now.
I guess I'm spending the meantine getting myself right and working on me - keeping my life full with the things I enjoy, and just keeping the faith that like everything else in my life, that piece will fall into place. I know that if I was in a relationship right now, I wouldn't find the time to accomplish half the things I'm doing. That's what's keeping me going.
At any rate, I feel where you are coming from (from a human perspective). I don't believe there is anything to fix though. There isn't anything wrong with you.
You are clear as to what you want. You realize you don't want to settle for less than that. You've come further than most people who just deal and feel shorted every time they complete or finish satisfying an urge.
You'll find what you are looking for in time. It won't take much for the spark to come along and for you to realize its time to step from behind that wall. That spark may have a name of a man on it and he may grab you himself and pull you forward.
Either way... In time it will work itself out. I mean perhaps its just me but I believe what will be will be. And if its meant to happen then it shall. When your time has come the opportunity will present itself. At that point it will be up to you handle it.
But I'm just a man with two brains who only uses half of one.
tee hee hee on the two brains/half of one thing...I think you use more than half of one...
It's hard to live by principles and beliefs. It's easier to follow the pack. However, don't lock up your heart. Remain open to life and experiences. You are a wonderful person and you won't regret it.
And you are right; living upright is hard, but necessary (at least for me)...I've been shown the way and the other way is no longer an option...
Or just horny... :mrgreen:
First-time poster, long-time lurker. This entry so completely hits home with me! You've eloquently stated what has been jumbled thoughts, rants and tantrums in my head. Thanks for posting this...it renews my own sense of purpose as I spend this time in my life focusing on me. I heart ur blog! :smile:
I'm glad that you were able to take something away from this...